Friday, May 21, 2010

Bag Duty

A compendium of items I came across while checking students' bags during morning metal detection today:

1. enough lotion, baby oil, body spray, makeup, and deodorant to open a drugstore
2. denim-look leggings, a black satin dress, pajamas, slippers, a lined satin shower cap, many pairs of jeans, full outfit changes, gladiator sandals, stilettos, and jackets
3. a Krystal pancake scrambler that had spilled all inside the backpack (it was already a mess when I unzipped the bag, as I hastened to point out to the owner)
4. many chargers for mysteriously absent phones and electronics
5. piles of unbound paper mixed in with with markers, colored pencils, dog-eared workbooks, and empty folders
6. a pint of fresh strawberries in a sandwich bag, every kind of chip imaginable, bottles and pouches of "juice" and sports drinks, and one can of Hawaiian punch

And, most surprisingly
7. Novels! Unassigned! Some of them not involving titles such as Thong On Fire!

4 comments:

Elizabeth Alley said...

Except for #7, the rest of your list makes me kind of dizzy.

Sassy Molassy said...

I did have latex gloves. I did not fully check the bag filled with scrambled eggs and syrup. Hopefully there wasn't a sticky gun under there.

All Adither said...

I find this list completely fascinating. More please!

Michael Canoeist said...

Your blogging is good; each entry makes its point so well. You should probably be doing more writing, then. I thought your short-short story entry was excellent. This is from a reader who happened on your blog from GoodReads, somehow or other.