Sunday, February 28, 2010

Ten SImple Things

As directed by SAM, here are my ten simple things that make me happy right now:

1. Seed packets and plans for our huge garden this summer.
2. That I entered the NPR Three-Minute Fiction contest, even though I have no expectation whatsoever of winning.
3.Time after the kids go to bed. (When I manage to stay awake.)
4. Beach house hunting for our family's vacation.
5. Weekend breakfasts.
6. That it's almost time for Spring Break and after that just 8 more weeks of school. More or less.
7. Watching BD scheme ways to get finches to hang out in the courtyard of our house.
8. Somerset's dance moves, particularly the tiny robot.
9. The way Genevieve calls out "I love you So Much Mommy!" as she runs by playing.
10. That I've written about two chapters of a YA novel. Maybe. Sort of.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Overheard in the minivan

Actual conversation BD and I had on the way to the bookstore today. And I use the term "conversation" loosely.

Me: What is that guy's license plate supposed to say? (It said "FLTRPMP")
BD: Filter pump.
Me: Really? Filter pump?
BD: Filter pump.
Me: Why would someone want their license plate to say "filter pump?"
BD: He makes filter pumps.
Me: Well I think it says "Floater Pimp."
BD: Yeah, that's what it says.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Dogs are from Mars, Cats are from Venus

Yesterday morning, Genevieve and I were having a snuggle in my bed sometime mid-morning when she said out of nowhere, "Mommy, are cats girls and dogs are boys?" I had to stop and think whether she'd heard me say that, because this is exactly what I believed when I was little. But no, I hadn't mentioned it to anyone lately, she just thought of it. BD says all kids think that, but I don't know. It feels so bizarre when she demonstrates how much her mind works in the same way as mine. And when I explained that no, there are boy dogs and girl dogs, and boy cats and girl cats, she immediately, without having to pause and think it through, said "But why are there boy cats and girl dogs?"

A couple of months ago, as you maye have seen on BD's blog up in the "Quotable Quartet" section, we were in the car when she said to me in a slow, dreamy voice, "Mommy...when I'm sleepy, everything feels greasy. Like...chicken...on fingers." And you know, I knew exactly what she meant. I have a clear memory of waking up one morning after being sick when I was very young, probably no older than five, and telling someone "I slept like a tube of toothpaste." I had woken up feeling rested and great after a few days of feeling crappy, and that was what popped into my head as an appropriate comparison. I also have never liked ketchup on hotdogs because it tastes like too much red, in the way that a red shirt paired with pants in a slightly different shade of red would feel wrong.

She also has started talking a lot about her imaginary "Dremmy." Her friend and housemate Miss M has a "Grammy," so I think that's where she got that. She has filled me in on the back story of how she has a Dremmy, not Grandma but another Dremmy, and when Genevieve "used to be a grown up," she would go over to Dremmy's house and they would do things together. So each day, if someone mentions going somewhere or doing something fun, she will often tell me how she went there/did that with her Dremmy. Sometimes the stories are also scary or violent.

One way I can tell that G is approaching age four is that she is becoming increasingly morbid. Just as her oldest brother once told me, as a four year old, that "I was imagining being dead and all I could see was black dark," Genevieve has lately started telling me "I was thinking of something." Then she will go on to describe what sounds like a bad dream, but she will clarify "I didn't dream it, I just was thinking it." Recently she told me she was thinking about if Miss M came with her to Grandma's house and Deuce was there (her cousin's dog) and Miss M went to pet Deuce and Deuce ate her legs all up and then her arms all up and then just her head was left. Now, G loves Deuce, and has gotten over an initial fear of her that came from never really having spent time around dogs, and specifically not an American bulldog as tall as she is. She didn't even sound scared when she told me about her little vision, either. It was just something she thought of. This weekend she told me again that she was "thinking of something," and it turned out to be an elaborate montage of people falling down holes far too complicated for me to follow.

Oh! That also reminds me that she asked me about a week ago if "When people die, do they get sucked into the street and the sidewalk?" Thinking this sounded like something she saw on one of those weird cartoons her older siblings like to watch, (seriously, Chowder? WTH is that all about?), I asked if she saw that on a show. "No!" she exclaimed in irritation, "I'm just asking you! When people die, do they get sucked into the street and the sidewalk?" "No baby," I said, "people don't get sucked into the street or the sidewalk. Did someone tell you that?" "No!" she said, clearly exasperated that I was being thick, "I just thought of it and I'm just asking you!" Then she asked where people get sucked into when they die if it's not the street or the sidewalk. Um...? What am I supposed to say to that? I said "They don't get sucked into anywhere, honey. That's just not what happens" and then I distracted her by pointing out something happening beyond the window.

Freaky little kid.

Friday, February 12, 2010

My infinite coolness

My friend Chip and I recently had an IM conversation so SWPL-esque and also incredibly dorky that I could not resist posting it here. It started with a discussion of micheladas, which might seem moderately hip, but then it all went to hell. *Observe:

me: I've been looking at several recipes on line.
The Cholula sounds good. I could drink that stuff. I wonder if Rooster sauce would be good.
Chip: Old people type "on line" for "online," Kristy.
me: Sorry!
Chip: ;-)
me: It's just...not a word!
Chip: In 2010 it is.
But anyway, yes, I'd agree that Cholula would be better than Tobasco.
me: I guess. Online seems like an adjective, whereas on line seems like an adverbial phrase.
I'm sure my adherence to grammatical rules makes me much cooler.
Chip: Online is both an adjective and an adverb, I'd say.
"Online gaming" and "Researching online."
me: That's just not right, though! It defies all the conventions of how those things work.
See, no. Researching online is so inherently wrong.
Chip: I mean, the "on" is definitely not a preposition?
me: I think prepositions are prepositions no matter how they're used. Unless it's the infinitive form of a verb.
In some thing like "on line" used as an adverbial phrase, it's still sort of functioning as a preposition.
Chip: I say not a preposition because "online" has transcended being "on" something. The meaning has moved beyond the preposition.
Wait, but now you just typed "some thing." I'm thinking it's just your natural inclination to separate things that should be one word.
me: It hasn't really, though. Even when words combine and evolve, they retain some of their original meaning and form. (I missed that second part. He's probably right.)
Chip: True.
me: Dorkiest conversation ever!
Chip: I would only have this conversation with an English teacher.
me: I may have to post this conversation on my blog.
Chip: Only dorks read your blog.

*Usage of "lol" has been removed to preserve the dignity of parties involved.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010


I have been meaning to pop in and remind all my lady friends, particularly the ones who have had their bodies repeatedly harvested for nutrients like I have (by babies, not aliens) to take their vitamins. For a couple of months now I have been very consistently taking mine, specifically B12 and an additional B complex with C, vitamin E, vitamin D, and a Calcium, Magnesium, and Zinc combo. I've read that the last one especially is good for preventing run-downedness in women.

I can report that most signicficantly, some pretty serious and irritating hormonal imblanace, lady-business-cycle type issues have improved drastically. I did not even maim or kill anyone during ovulation this month! Also my skin did not go insane, my cycle did not get (another) two days shorter and generally the whole thing was barely notcible. This after several months of feeling like I was losing my mind on the Hormone Express to hell, and back, and back to hell, and back. You get the picture. Also, my nails are about five times harder and less bendy and splitty than they were.

Thus concludes my highly convincing scientific explanation of the benefits of taking cheap, BOGO Kroger vitamins. Go get you some.